SpongeBob SquarePants has been called many things — violent, adult, insane and rude, for starters. But one word the show’s creators might not have seen coming in the onslaught of descriptors about their show is “amoral.”

According to a study by the Ukrainian National Expert Commission for Protecting Public Morality, in addition to “promoting homosexuality,” the popular children’s cartoon program is part of a “large-scale experiment” to turn Ukraine’s children into “criminals and perverts.”

SpongeBob isn’t the only cartoon character in hot water — the report goes on to further incite ‘The Simpsons,’ ‘Family Guy,’ ‘Pokemon,’ ‘The Teletubbies’ and ‘Futurama.’ All of these have been blamed for leading children to make jokes and funny faces in front of grown-ups, as well as talking nonsensical gibberish.  You know, like kids do.

A ban is being sought for all these programs, and it is *definitely* because they are morally reprehensible and *not* because they are teaching children how to be supremely annoying.  That is not it at all.