In Wisconsin There is No Beer. Delivery That Is, Due to Cold
"In heaven, there is no beer, that's why we drink it here!" So the song says. But what if, horror of horrors, there is no beer due to delivery delays? In what some Wisconsinites in Eau Claire and Milwaukee are referring to as a "suds-ocalypse", several beer outlets are closing.
Numerous beer distributors in that state are calling off deliveries due to the extreme cold for the safety of their drivers, their equipment and their precious cargo. One beer distribution company manager in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, said the fear was that "the beer would freeze in the trucks, especially on rural routes."
It is hard to believe that any beer could ever be too cold, but apparently, it can and will explode when it freezes, whether it is in bottles or cans.
I checked the forecast for the Eau Claire and Milwaukee areas, fully prepared to call them pantywaists if their weather was substantially warmer than ours. No luck there. Their forecasts were remarkably similar to ours.
However, that does beg the question; what about beer deliveries here? Will there be a run on the bubbly brew here in Sioux Falls? Will grocery, liquor, and convenience stores see an influx of wild-eyed, beer-starved maniacs fighting each other over the last six-pack in the cooler, for just one sip of the transcendent fizzy liquid?
I highly doubt it. But as jazz great Fats Waller used to say, "One never knows, do one?"