There is a commercial on TV that has been haunting me. I don't know why the great and mysterious algorithms think that I am the target audience for this commercial. It follows me, and I can't stand it. It's the spot for the 2016 Volkswagen Passat where a dad and his two kids have a day on the town, and it's all scored to "Beth" by Kiss.

The dad and kids go to a carnival, play around in a music store, make pop bottles explode, get their cosmic bowling on, and see a movie. All the while being annoyingly silly.

Ah, but the twist. The mom of this family calls at the beginning of the journey, we see her name is Beth because a call alert comes up on the car's console screen. Oh, but the kids are too excited to go to the carnival so dad doesn't get the message. They have 'fun dad' things to do. They are away from the oppression of 'no fun mom' so, there's no time to answer the car phone. All the while The Cat is singing "Beth I hear you calling, But I can't come home right now, Me and the boys are playing..."

Whether I'm watching football, @Midnight or Agent Carter it seems like this commercial is there, and I hate it because it makes no sense!

Setting aside the dumb, fun dad verses the whip cracking mom scenario, which infects so much of our pop culture, I ask: where is this guys phone?!

OK, the premise is that the dad and kids are having so much fun that they they can't talk to mom on the phone. They are so busy running around town in their super fancy, super connected car, that there is no time to call or text the wife and say, "what's up?" And for her to say "We need milk."

The guy saw the message from the lady while he was in his car just before the carnival. What did he do with his phone? There had to be lines at the carnival, even a long walk through the parking lot. Plenty of opportunities to call or message the wife back. Again, where is his phone? Did he leave it in the car? So, he's going into a huge public place with kids, without his phone? What if there's an emergency? Public phones don't really exist anymore. I don't like going to the basement without my phone.

Even if he doesn't have a phone, the trio is in and out of the car several times and presumably spending time driving to all their rad destinations. Again, plenty of time to see and respond to a message.

Even before all that, he's the dad, he could easily say, "Hold up guys, moms on the phone, let's see what she wants."

Speaking of which, lady go get milk yourself. I still can't decide if the dad and kids disappeared all day, and therefore the dad is the jerk. How hard would it have been to say, "Honey, me and the boys are talking off for a day of goofing around, see ya tonight?"

Or if the wife is trying to insert herself into the dad and kids day by asking for milk.

If that's the case, and mom needs milk that bad, put on some shoes and go to the store. The family can afford a 2016 car and a stainless-steel kitchen, I'm sure that they have another vehicle.

It's so aggravating, the entire premise of this commercial is wrong. And it's made worse by the attempt to play on the viewers nostalgia and feeling about their family.

There is nobody in the ad to connect with, or even like. The only person in the commercial I end up feeling for is the guy working at the music store who had to put up with this crew of goofballs messing with the stock.

And I hate that song.


See Also: