Many people have perfected the art of making excuses back in school. Several more people are working on perfecting that craft well into their working careers.

According to recent survey by, nearly a third of employees said they called in when they weren't actually sick.

Whether they actually happened or not, try not to laugh out loud, because these excuses have actually been used to avoid work for a day:

  • "My false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway."
  • 'My favorite football team lost over the weekend and I'll need a day to recover."
  • "I recently quit smoking and I'm grouchy."
  • "Well, someone glued my doors and windows shut so I couldn't leave my house."
  • "That one chemical in turkey made me very sleepy and I missed my shift."
  • "My fake eye flew out of my socket."
  • "I received a threatening phone call from the electric company and I need to report it to the!"
  • "I just need to finish Christmas shopping."
  • "I couldn't decide what to wear."
  • "I got lost on the way to work and ended up in another state."
  • "I'm afraid I got a really bad yoga injury and I can't talk about it."
  • "My doctor called and said I have jury duty."  Wait...what?!??

And these gems were submitted after this story was published:

  • "You see, I raised a baby raccoon and somehow it is attracted to shiny things. Well, he got my car keys and I couldn't get to work. The little rascal his them outside!"
  • "My Liludium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator was sabotaged by a wise cracking rabbit."

Go ahead. List your best excuse below. Can you top these?