Everybody knows Elvis Presley is still alive. But who knew Bruce Lee and Kurt Cobain were still alive too? The makers of Bavaria Radler beer-like drink always knew. Apparently the company has been supplying these celebrities, whom we all thought were dead (except for Elvis, of course), with all the weird beer-lemonade concoctions they can drink. At least, that's what their new commercial would have us believe.

The commercial shows the aforementioned superstars -- along with a crusty, bearded John Lennon and an aging Marilyn Monroe -- chilling on a small beach in the middle of nowhere. While Cobain strums on his guitar, Monroe rubs some suntan lotion on Tupac's stomach tattoos. The whole scenario would be surreal if the lookalikes playing the celebrities didn't come off as creepy as they do. It's almost like the casting department hired the lookalikes based on somebody else's descriptions of the late stars.

When a ship appears on the horizon, Bruce Lee alerts the rest of the gang. They swing into action, moving trees and the bar and everything else to hide their hidden resort. It was especially refreshing to see some of the most gifted artists in modern history reduced to pathetic cartoon versions of themselves in order to sell a drink we can only assume tastes like malt, hops and misappropriation of everything we hold dear.

And we still don't know how to feel about seeing the fake Cobain almost throw up when he catches a glimpse of what's under Marilyn Monroe's skirt. We just don't know.

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